As an NBC News correspondent covering former President Donald Trump, I have attended more than a dozen of his campaign rallies this election cycle alone. They usually feel more like concerts or festivals than political events, with food trucks and vendors, where supporters and their families gather to enjoy the day.
And so began Saturday’s rally in Butler, Pennsylvania. But as we all know, it didn’t end that way.
Minutes after Trump’s speech, my producer Bianca Seward and I heard what we thought were fireworks. But when those pop-pop-pops continued and the former president stopped talking, we instinctively ducked behind some of the stage equipment. I thought to myself, “This is stupid, I’m overreacting.” But my body was shaking.
It was not immediately clear what the situation was or how dangerous it was. From our crouching position, we heard the crowd cheer as a bloodied Trump pumped his fist. We got up and got back on the press lifts, eager to reunite with the rest of our thankfully safe crew and figure out what everyone had seen. From there we reported non-stop until 1 am. We are still working, which has certainly delayed our own emotional response to events.
But there are things that stick with me: the sound of children screaming, a witness standing next to a murdered man, a witness who calmly walks our viewers through each excruciating moment, a mother who says she held her grown son’s hand. for the first time since childhood. These are memories that will stick in people’s minds.
As journalists, we’re used to covering the aftermath of a shooting, but in this case, we had a shared experience with our sources. Whether you’re a reporter or a rally attendee, you’re just trying to make sense of what’s going on. As journalists, we also want to help others understand better. No matter how hard it is, that’s why we do it. I am grateful to everyone who is willing to share their stories.
Given how tight security was after learning what had happened, we were at first surprised that someone could go to a rally with a gun. There are metal detectors and they check everyone’s bags, even our wallets. But after learning that the shooter was outside the perimeter, it was less surprising because there was plenty of empty space behind the audience. Of course, we will wait for the investigation to reveal exactly what happened.
It was unusual for Trump to jump into policy issues so early in a rally speech. Usually, he would spend more time warming up the crowd. But as one witness noted, if Trump hadn’t pointed at the screen when he was shot, the outcome could have been worse.
The idea that a political event can lead to violence has occurred to me, as it has to many in the past. But you never think it will happen, and if it does, you never think you’ll be there.
On Saturday, we focused on the news of the day. We’ve been waiting for Trump to announce his candidacy, and the Republican National Convention begins this week. Political violence was the furthest thing from my mind. But I don’t think that will happen after this moment.
As I’ve traveled the country and talked to constituents since 2019, I’ve sensed a growing sense of sadness and despair about the polarized state of our nation. What happened on Saturday confirms this picture in the most terrible way. But I would like to hope that this may be the peak of polarization, rather than another tragic episode in our increasingly turbulent political reality.